No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
