Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
