is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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