I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize