WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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