just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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