don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
