I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize