last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
