how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
