She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
