i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
