you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So much Jack, so little girl.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
