I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize