i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
