On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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