I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
