Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
