Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
