Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
