On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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