I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
