Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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