cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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