i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
