LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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