when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
