So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
