My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
