found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We don't watch enough power rangers
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
