I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
