I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize