McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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