just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
