Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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