hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize