He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
