So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
