i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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