hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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