Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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