Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
