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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.

  (510): View more from California

  YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (754): View more from Florida

  Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.

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• (347): View more from New York

  you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud

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