Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number

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  (586): Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number http://tfl.nu/4mkf
  Replies (5) Good night (2042) Bad night (625)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hot girl, 5 o clock

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  do you know how to read a clock?

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  (630): hot girl, 5 o clock (1-630): do you know how to read a clock? http://tfl.nu/x1wt
  Replies (17) Good night (1538) Bad night (3058)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the hells wrong with u

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  (902): bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard. (1-902): the hells wrong with u http://tfl.nu/fwtj
  Replies (17) Good night (2070) Bad night (4020)
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  (714): View more from California

  im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?

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  (714): im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join? http://tfl.nu/idc6
  Replies (16) Good night (4798) Bad night (1394)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I love boston

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  (781): The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH (781): I love boston http://tfl.nu/jz0y
  Replies (37) Good night (8763) Bad night (1246)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.

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  (480): He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now. http://tfl.nu/isy9
  Replies (12) Good night (3944) Bad night (1531)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.

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  (202): I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request. http://tfl.nu/ivj5
  Replies (5) Good night (3527) Bad night (1118)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

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  (520): You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night. http://tfl.nu/u2mc
  Replies (12) Good night (2165) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

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  (269): A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash? http://tfl.nu/uuv0
  Replies (8) Good night (2588) Bad night (838)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.

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  (480): Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/s5ct
  Replies (5) Good night (804) Bad night (1223)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I regret nothing

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  (702): Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal. (1-702): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/jdko
  Replies (12) Good night (2648) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.

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  (646): How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope. http://tfl.nu/0uer
  Replies (2) Good night (1443) Bad night (612)
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  (805): View more from California

  Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.

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  (805): Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes. http://tfl.nu/5iyn
  Replies (5) Good night (1792) Bad night (537)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage

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  (608): and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage http://tfl.nu/5cg3
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis

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  (202): I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis http://tfl.nu/lbuu
  Replies (43) Good night (1106) Bad night (3555)

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