Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.

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(978): I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/sljh

Replies (7) Good night (2905) Bad night (617)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

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(678): Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college. http://tfl.nu/311k

Replies (6) Good night (2522) Bad night (1003)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.

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(502): one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why. http://tfl.nu/9zaj

Replies (12) Good night (5145) Bad night (1232)
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(907): View more from Alaska

You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.

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(907): You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink. http://tfl.nu/mebb

Replies (29) Good night (4378) Bad night (1092)
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(248): View more from Michigan

If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

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(248): If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/zk30

Replies (1) Good night (2294) Bad night (1006)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?

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(908): Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good? http://tfl.nu/2d9n

Replies (6) Good night (2266) Bad night (713)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina

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(573): Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina http://tfl.nu/35k1

Replies (7) Good night (644) Bad night (2691)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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(864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu

Replies (21) Good night (3815) Bad night (1905)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

(913): View more from Kansas

I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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(337): Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell? (913): I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space. http://tfl.nu/aqjc

Replies (17) Good night (2381) Bad night (692)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

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(479): I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/32cb

Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (514)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents

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(519): I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents http://tfl.nu/4hgt

Replies (2) Good night (1346) Bad night (347)
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(518): View more from New York

Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins

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(518): Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins http://tfl.nu/i33q

Replies (7) Good night (2937) Bad night (694)
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(330): View more from Ohio

What is this nonsense on the table

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Your idea.

(330): View more from Ohio

I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out

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(330): What is this nonsense on the table (1-330): Your idea. (330): I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out http://tfl.nu/afwc

Replies (5) Good night (351) Bad night (652)
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(618): View more from Illinois

After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...

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(618): After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical... http://tfl.nu/b9b8

Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (263)
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(480): View more from Arizona

strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor

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(480): strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor http://tfl.nu/6d1i

Replies (4) Good night (267) Bad night (763)

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