how can u be prego again
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head