he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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