i will never coherently bang her
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(