belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
