okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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