the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
is it fun? or sober?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
