We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
