i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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