Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
