I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish I only lived at night.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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