i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
