I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
