I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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