You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
