Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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