i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
