don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
