you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize