You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
