I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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