you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
