dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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