i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
