do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
