Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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