im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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