How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
