$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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