you would pick up someone in the library
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
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