Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
