How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
