It's Friday. Sex?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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