I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Where is the hickey?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms