tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
